Father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made and
everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
neatly placed on the center of the bed. It was
addressed "Dad". With the worse feeling, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands...................

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing
you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and You. I've been
finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even
with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight
Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad,
she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very
happy together. Even though you won't care for her as
she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. She wants to have many more children with me
and that's one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and
we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her
friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In
the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure
for AIDS so Joan can get better, she sure deserves it
!!

Don't worry Dad, I am 15 years old now and I know how
to take care of myself. Someday I am sure we will be
back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Your Son,
John

P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I am over at the neighbor's house

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than My Report Card....

which is in my desk, center drawer.
I LOVE YOU!! Call when it is safe for me to come home.